When you think of the word fidelity, I’m sure there are immediate thoughts that come into your head. For me, I immediately think of being true to someone with exactness. When I google the word, I got the definition “faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support”. Isn’t that what we are all longing for? That is what you sign up for when you decide to get married. Complete fidelity to your partner and from your partner. It gets a little bit trickier than that. Infidelity on the other hand is defined as “the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner”.
There are many ways someone can fall to infidelity. There is emotional, physical, and visual infidelity that we are going to talk about. Emotional infidelity is one that happens SO OFTEN without being noticed as clearly. This is the one where someone has a best friend of either gender and goes to them for everything. We most often assume that this has to happen between best friends of opposite genders. When a girl has a guy best friend and tells him even more than she is telling her husband you would assume there would be a connection building, and this will not end well. But what is not as often talked about is when that woman has a woman best friend and tells her all of her emotions and feelings rather than her husband. There is an emotional bond created there too and you’d be surprised at the amount of women who end up having sexual relations with their best friend even if it is another woman because they just feel so close.
Physical infidelity is probably the one most people immediately think of when they hear that there has been an affair. This is when a partner goes to another person to fulfil their sexual and other intimate needs. This usually starts with the emotional affair and leads to physical. Nobody wants to hear that their spouse has been intimate with another person. Most people even admit that if their spouse were to have an affair, they would not be able to stay with them. It is interesting to see the number of couples that are actually able to make it through and have a stronger marriage in the end. We will talk about repentance and forgiveness in a minute.
The third type of infidelity I wanted to talk about today is visual. This is often times where pornography plays a role. Men and women both have problems with viewing pornography, but we hear about it mostly in men. Men are wired differently than women and have sexual desires that they work at daily to control. Sometimes they are unable to control these feelings due to Satan telling them lies. They can create habits and even addictions in order to release the sexual tension building inside of them. Going to the internet, books, movies, or even music can be their release. This can be so hard for them to overcome, but when they realize the harm it is doing to their life and marriage, they will hopefully come clean to get help. It is true that if a man tells of his addiction and is willing to get help, the marriage will end up working out and he will get through it.
Finally, I wanted to touch on forgiveness and repentance. This is a hard topic to talk about and even imagine in your own life, but you cannot be naïve and think it will never happen to you. That is exactly when Satan will work the hardest and throw a curve ball. Being able to have that open communication with your spouse may be able to lessen the chances of it happening. However, if you find yourself in the midst of these trials, hope is not lost. We have a Savior Jesus Christ who has suffered for all of our sins. We will all fall short and need to repent. If these things have occurred, I plead with you to go to your Heavenly Father, spouse, and bishop to right the wrong. As the spouse of these actions it can be hard to look for the good and even imagining there is something positive to gain from this experience. It is there. There is hope and peace that can come if you too will use The Atonement of Jesus Christ to help you come to a point of forgiving. It will be okay. It will all work out. Don’t give up.
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