Parenting

What is the purpose behind parenting? Popkins said, “to protect and prepare children to survive and thrive in the world in which they will live.” So, what does this really even mean? When I think of the word protect in the context of parenting, I think from the world, Satan, false teachings, and bad habits. The word prepare to me means to prepare for life, to make their own choices, and for them to be parents one day. Survive is to get by and stay alive, while thrive is excelling and having joy. The world in which they will live includes today, the near future, and even their adulthood.

Now that we’ve talked about why we parent, let’s talk a little about how. Obviously, all of these things are easier said than done, but I truly believe that if you make the conscious effort to work on a few things over a period of time the home will be a happier place where children will respect their parents and feel like they are respected and heard. Giving children positive feedback. If you have such high expectations of your child, always pointing out the negatives and rarely praise them for the good things they do, they will not feel like they are meeting your expectations and will likely rebel in order to receive some sort of confirmation that they are seen.

The need for contact and belonging is the most important need that we have. If there is a lack of contact, there can often be a failure to thrive especially seen in babies. A lot of the time children act out to get attention. When they are isolated, not getting their contact need met, they end up becoming aggressive, defensive, and harmful. If you ask someone in prison the worst punishment, they would tell you isolation. Not being able to connect with others can literally feel worse than any other punishment they could receive. When a child is put in this position and not offered a way to get out, they will resort to their worst behavior because they are not aware of the emotions, they are feeling… the need to be with others.

The best way that we can teach is by example. Kids love to work, do their chores with them. Teach them things that are fun and also teach them things that will be beneficial to them their entire life. Be involved in the things they are interested in, have compassion, be kind, be patient, honest, loving, and respectful. When you treat your child how you would like to be treated, they will naturally begin to be like you and respond to situations as you would. We do not need to be helicopter parents and not allow them to do anything though. The best way we have all learned a life lesson is because of the natural consequences that came with our actions, not because mom and dad forbid us to hang out with a certain person. “The more we control, the less influence for good”.

Let’s all remember to be a little kinder, have more patience, and be the parents we would like our grandchildren to have one day, because we are raising their parents now. I know that all children are different, and this may seem like too much of a task to take on especially if you have a lot of kids at home. If we ask the Lord for strength and guidance in the way we teach and raise our children, we will see righteous children grow up to be husbands and wives with families of their own.